Secret Agent Hottiepants
by ElevenRaven
Summary: He is hot. He is handsome. He is cool. Who is he? He's name's Agent Sting Eucliffe. A secret agent of F.T.S.A.A- Fairy Tail Secret Agent's Association. He could get a girl easily in one wink. And was to spy on a girl, secretly. Who is this girl and how did she made our hot agent fell in love with her? One rule of being a spy is to not fall for the some people. So why did he?
1. Secret Agent Hottiepants

_**Secret Agent Hottiepants **_

**~Chapter 1~**

"What did I say- she's _hot_, right?" Natsu expressed the word 'hot' in the other end of the line as I watched the girl pick some groceries at the supermarket.

"That- is her?" I scoffed as I watched the girl from distance.

"Yeah whatever- so plan sticks to the way we planned… You're on- Secret Agent Hottie." Natsu said in the other end of the line.

I sighed. Here goes nothing then… I grabbed a trolley and pushed it.

Oh hello, name's Sting Eucliffe by the way… I'm some kind of a secret spy. Why'd I choose this kind of work? Well- runs around in the family I should say… But my code name is Secret Agent Hottiepants.

Why? 'Cause I know I'm hot, handsome and all but not to brag or anything… Okay I'm bragging…

Wanna know why people like being a spy? Cool gadgets, wear cool clothes, and anything that involves the word 'cool'…

Well I don't buy any of those pieces of crap.

I just became a spy eventhough I always had my lifelong dream of becoming a famous surfer…

Being a spy- no one knows you… you need to use code words for your name and other blah, blah, blah's that I need to keep myself hidden- not being able to boast of what's my name...

I'm on a mission with my dumbass partner, Natsu Dragneel to capture a "Girl Spy" which Natsu says she's very hot… I'm probably hot-ter… Well- I would like to see her

We'll see about that- shall we?

I walked to the blonde girl who was holding a zucchini with a confused look on her face.

I put some cabbages in my trolley while the girl is still looking at the zucchini.

"That's a zucchini. Tastes like apple." I tried to make a conversation and continued putting some cabbages in my trolley.

She turned to look at me and smiled.

Wow- that dumbass was damn right. She was hot.

"It's hard to know some kinds of vegetables here in Fiore… Kinda difficult…" she smiled again.

OMG- I think I'm gonna melt…

"Uh- yeah… How long you've been in Fiore?" I continued putting cabbages in my trolley.

"Um- almost ten years…"

"Oh, I see…"

She looked at me amazed.

"Wow- you sure do like cabbages, huh?" she chuckled slightly.

"What? I'm hungry…" I chuckled a bit but in the inside I felt like kicking myself.

She continued giggling.

"Well- I gotta go now…" I gave her my signature smirks.

"Bah-bye…" she waved.

Okay- now time for the plan.

I pushed my trolley and walked just near an aisle.

"Agent Fire Dragon you're up." I said in the phone.

"Go it." He said in the other end.

I peeped in the groceries and looked at Natsu and the blonde girl.

I turned the volume of my new released super-cool gadget which they called "The Volumerator" it allows you to hear anything from distance.

"Hey, Babe. You seem to be lonely…" Natsu smirked at the blonde girl.

"Um- I- I-" she stammered.

Here's my chance to pop in.

"Actually, she's with me." I smiled and wrapped an arm around her waist.

She decided to play along.

"Um yeah- I'm with him… Uh- hey honey…" She smiled and wrapped an arm around my waist.

"Hey, babe. So, is he bothering you?" I looked at Natsu.

"No, bro- everything's just fine…" he smirked and ran away.

"Oh, I'm so sorry…" she let go off my waist.

"Nah, its okay… Just some way to get rid of those jerks… And- to save my 'unknown' girl friend…" I smirked.

"Oh- name's Lucy Heartfilia…" she smiled and held out her hand.

"Um- err- Paul Alexander?" I chuckled nervously and shook her hand.

"Nice to meet you…" she smiled.

"Want me to walk you home? That jerk would probably pester you any minute now…" I smiled.

"Thank you…" she smiled warmly and head to the counter.

What is it with this girl? And why does my heart felts this way?!

"Where's your cabbages?" she asked curiously.

"Um- I decided not to eat- cabbages… So I- um… put them back…" I chuckled nervously scratching the back of my head.

Why am I laughing?

"Alright- this is all the stuffs I need!" Lucy smiled carrying the groceries.

"Lemme help you with that." I took some of the shopping bags.

"Thanks!" she smiled and continued walking.

I drove in front of her hotel talking and laughing.

"So- lunch at my place tomorrow? It's my treat! And just some way to repay my friend!" she cheered as she got off my car with her groceries.

"Sure! Lunch would be nice!" I smiled and winked at her.

I didn't know why I just did that.

"Thank you! Goodbye!" she waved.

"Oh- and one more thing- here's my number. See ya tomorrow, friend!" she handed me a piece of card.

"Yeah- thanks… Tomorrow then…" I smiled back putting the card into my wallet.

"Bye Stingy Bee!" she waved again.

I just smirked as I entered my car.

What a talkative, hyperactive yet fun girl…

Suddenly Natsu popped out of the back passenger seat almost making me pee in my pants.

"What the fuck are you doing in there- Natsu?! You fucking scared me to death!" I shouted keeping my eyes on the road.

"Nah, just making sure you're not gonna fell in love with the girl we're saving…" Natsu smirked and leaned in forward.

Okay- this had me in a little shock. 'Cause every time that Blondie is around- I wonder why my heart melts…

"Why would I?!" I shouted in guilt.

"You're just so bad at lying, Agent Sting… You know the rules…" Natsu smirked.

"I never did like her!" I almost shouted.

What am I even saying? I know Natsu's right about the rules and all… And could I possibly ell for her like what Natsu says? I just met her and I already knew so much about her…

I hate it when my dumbass partner is right and I'm less right.

Lucy Heartfilia… The name of the girl I'm saving…

**Hello guys! Here's another story of mine hope ya like it! And sorry for the wrong grammars and all! Good night and happy dreams!**


	2. A New Member?

_**Secret Agent Hottiepants **_

**~Chapter 2~**

**Normal P.O.V**

"So did you meet him, child?" Makarov asked Lucy.

"Yes, Grandpabie… He's funny… He said his name was Paul Alexander… How juvenile is that?" Lucy giggled.

"Yes, yes… It's part of the agents' idea…."

"Well, that stinks. I've plan a better plan… Where's Laxus-kun by the way?" Lucy asked- curious.

"Oh, that no-good for nothing douche is just playing with those stupid ear-sets not being able to get a mission!" Grandpabie banged his fist on the table angrily.

"Nah, don't mind about him…" Lucy smiled warmly at her grandfather.

"Well, I better get going now, child. I'm off to Fairy Tail…" Grandpabie headed to the door.

"Bye, Grandpabie! Hope you have a great day!" Lucy waved to her Grandpa.

"Don't you wanna come, child?" Grandpa asked Lucy.

"Nah, I invited the hot agent to my hotel… Just the way its planned…" she smiled warmly.

"Okay, then…" And with that her Grandpabie went out of the manor.

Pfft… She wonders what time that hottie is gonna come…

**Sting's P.O.V**

I started having these butterflies on my stomach the moment I entered the elevator. Sheeshh… My dumbass partner is a real- um dumbass…

Why you girls ask me? *girls squeals and Sting winks at them*

Cause' that dumbass didn't even save my ass up and lets me do all the job! And instead he stays with all the hot babes and let me do the work! Dayyum…. I tell you- I intend to do what he does too. But I just can't turn this mission for failure!

I rang her doorbell sheepishly holding the bouquet of roses in my hands.

With a couple of seconds- the door was opened revealing the Blondie girl with the name, Lucy.

"Hi, Sti- I m-mean, Paul. Come in." She smiled gesturing her hand for me to come in.

Why do I feel this way?

Yeeessh… I definitely love to hate this feeling…

"Hey, Blondie…" I smirked and handed her the flowers.

"For me? Thanks…" Lucy smiled again and took the roses and held them in her arms.

Ow—fuck man… She needs to stop doing that! Dayyum…

I don't care if Natsu is hangin with the hot babes—but I'd rather do this mission with this hot babe…

I must've been daydreaming I didn't notice Lucy staring at me all innocent-like.

"So are you gonna come in or what?" she asked.

I nodded and went in, sheepishly. I took off my shoes. Of course, manners come first, ladies… *girls squealing*

"Here wear this…" Lucy handed me a light fluffy pink bunny slippers.

What?! This is for girls for crying' out loud!

Okay— I don't have to be so rude or picky…

I gotta admit— it does feel great… And fluffy too.

Hey remind me to buy a pair of this thingies when I go home get it?

I followed Lucy to the living room while wearing the two bunny slippers.

There was a blonde-haired child who seemed to look like a five-year-old to me. She was coloring some kind of kindergarten book… You know what I'm saying?

"She's your daughter?" I asked with a lack of disappointment forming inside my chest.

"Yeah… I'm a single mother… My husband he— left us…" Lucy gave me a nonchalant shrug looking down her nails.

I wonder who this guy is… How could he leave his family for some slut?

"But who cares, right? I can manage my own self and my daughter… Who needs him, right?" Lucy chuckled slightly and continued chopping the potatoes.

I was in my deep trains of thoughts while watching Lucy chop some peeled potatoes with a knife.

"Lamia! We have guests!" Lucy called from the kitchen.

"Hello, there." She entered the kitchen.

I smiled. She looks just like her mother. Except she has blonde curly hair…

"Hey, there kid…" I crouched down and pat her head. She has pairs of blue eyes (which maybe she got form her father), fair skin…

"Mommy? Is he my new daddy? Yay!" Lamia cheered at her mother.

I snickered inwardly.

Lucy looked startled and bit her bottom lip.

"Um, actually…" Lucy began.

"Hi! I'm Lamia Heartfilia! I'm five-years-old! And I can't believe I'm having a new daddy! Mommy, it's about time you get a new husband…" she babbled non-stop.

I chuckled inwardly at the thought of the little blonde's reaction.

Lucy covered her daughter's mouth with her hand.

"You done yet?" Lucy asked.

"Yep."

"Go to your room." Lucy said with a bit of anger in her voice.

"But-"

"But no buts. Go upstairs and I'll call you when dinner's ready, okay?" Lucy says with her hands on her hips.

"Okay…" Lamia muttered quietly in disappointment.

"Bye, Mister!" She exclaimed and went upstairs.

"Sorry, bout that…" Lucy apologized with her face beet red.

"Nah, its okay…" I smiled.

I chuckled inwardly remembering the last minutes events. Lucy make a perfect mother…

"The reason I invited to you here… Follow me…"

Okay… Imagining… *smirks*

Lucy held me to a bookshelf. She invited me here to read?!

Wait—what?!

Lucy knocked two times revealing a secret door. Is this some kind of a joke? Lucy went back to the kitchen leaving me standing in front of the door.

I entered the secret living room being greeted by few familiar faces.

"Congratulations Secret Agent H. You have completed the mission." Gramps's hologram says on the big screen TV.

And how did Dumbass and Gramps get here?

"I-I did?" I asked curiously.

"Yes, fool! Now for the grand prize… You're gonna have a new member for your team…" Gramps declared.

Whoa—another member! Awesome! Do you know how great it is not only having that pink-haired idiot as a partner? This is a great opportunity I'm having!

"She's an ex-agent in M.H.S.A…" Gramps says.

I nodded anxiously. BTW, M.H.S.A means Mermaid Heels Secret Agents… And it's all for hot babes…

"Please Welcome—your newest member Secret Agent Celestial Mage…" Gramps declared.

"Hey guys…" Lucy waved cheerfully while entering the room.

Natsu and I jawdropped.

She knew? And nobody even told me? I was so pathetic!

"Congratulations…" And with that the TV beeped leaving the three of us alone.

"Yay! I'm your new member! How cool is that?!" Lucy cheered.

"Y-you invited us both here- to celebrate?!" Natsu and I said in unison.

"Wait, she invited you?" Natsu and I said again.

"Yep. I'm a genius, right?" Lucy looked at her nails admiringly.

Natsu and I just sat there in shock like- what the hell?!

* * *

"Here, Buster… Say 'Aaa'… Mommy, Buster won't eat his steak…" Lamia says feeding her hamster.

"That's because hamsters don't eat meat, Lamia…" Lucy smiled at her daughter.

"But why?" Lamia whined.

"Hey, Uncle Pinky, how come Buster won't eat his steak?" Lamia asked Natsu.

"That's cause his vegetarian, kid." Natsu said.

"Ohh…" Lamia nodded.

What a smart kid, I should say…

"A toast—for being a new member of Dragon Hottie team." Lucy held her glass of wine up in the air.

"For being a new member." Natsu and I said and clinked our glasses together.

* * *

"Good Bye! See you both tomorrow! For our first mission!" Lucy waved.

"Bye, Uncle Sting! Bye, Uncle Natsu!" Lamia waved with her mother.

Yes… I can't wait to have our first mission with our new member…

"So… What do you think, huh?" Natsu smirked.

"What do I think? What do I think?" I grumped angrily.

And so… Another night begins…

* * *

**Hello! Guys! Long time no update and I'm so sorry! But I'll promise to update faster and manage to…**

**Thanks for the reviews! And sorry for the short chapter and long update! Thanks again and Goodnight!**


	3. Lucy's First Mission

_**Secret Agent Hottiepants **_

**~Chapter 3~**

"I'm home…" I took off my shoes and entered the house.

"Meow…" Lector, my cat- greeted me in the doorway.

"Hey, Lector… You're waiting for me, buddy? Good boy…" I let Lector climb to my arms.

"Meow…." He answered in a purr.

I pet his head and head to my room.

"Meow…"

"You're hungry, aren't you? Okay, then…" I smirked at my cat.

**Lucy's P.O.V**

"Mommy, is Daddy gonna come back to us?" My daughter asked me once I was bathing her in the tub. It looked like she was about to burst into tears again.

Startled- I thought of an answer that's gonna make her feel better… For I knew what happened last time right before when her father left us…

"I don't know, sweetie. Let's just hope he's in good condition right now…" I smiled warmly at my daughter as I bath her.

There was silence. I knew she was in deep thought. It must be hard for my daughter to just forget about him… Eventhough it was never too late to forget the past… Well, that's what I did. And I want Lamia to follow exact the same thing…

"Are you gonna marry Uncle Sting, Mommy?" Lamia poked my nose while giggling.

"Of course not, honey… I'm just gonna work with him…" I protested while drying her hair in a towel.

"He seemed to be a good guy… And Uncle Pinky too…" she giggled at her own reactions.

"Lamia, dear you are far too young to know these kinds of things… Go to sleep." I said while putting her in her fluffy pink bunny pajamas as she continued giggling. I simply ignored her giggling as I tucked her up her bed.

"Sleep, now… We have a big day tomorrow…" I smiled warmly at my daughter.

"Aww, but I don't wanna come to school… The kids there are awful…" Lamia whined and looked at me as though she has seen a ghost.

"Now, now Lamia… You must… Do it for mommy, okay?" I gave her a kiss in the forehead.

"Okay…" she sighed.

"Goodnight, baby…" I smiled lowering the lamp's light.

"Goodnight, mommy. I love you…" Lamia whispered.

"I love you too…" I stood up out of her bed and closed my little girl's room carefully.

It already had been three years since he left us… It had been a very misunderstanding mistake he has ever done… Why he choose to be that… I wonder why… I always wonder… Why?

Every time he was mentioned, I just felt hurt. I know I don't have to. I don't want Lamia to see me cry. I should be strong... Without him.

I missed being agent. Ever since I gave birth to Lamia- I stopped being one. But I think this is the right time to be one again. For the sake of my little girl… New missions, gadgets and all… How I missed it...

I could do this without his help. I figured that—I don't need him at all. To raise even our own child. It felt like—I wanna show him that I could be strong… That I could survive… Without asking for anybody's help… Or his help…

But eventhough he left us just like that—I wish he's in good condition and…. I wish he's in good health… There is just a teeny, tiny part of me that still cares for him… Not that I'm expecting him to care for us back…

I stripped off my clothes, untie my low ponytail and entered the bathtub with hot water in it. I let the hot water cover my body from shoulders to toe.

* * *

**Sting's P.O.V**

"Meow…" Lector pleaded with gleaming eyes.

"No, Lector. Back to sleep." I grumbled in annoyance for Lector interrupting my sleep.

"Meow…" Lector insisted.

"Okay, fine… You just can't take it can you? Wait, what's the time now?" I snickered/panicked the moment I realized it.

"Meow." Lector answered while taking a quick glance at the clock.

"SHIT!" I cursed out loud.

I hurried on to put on my pants, shirt, tie, shoes, sunglasses etc…

"See ya later, Lector!" I shouted and hurried to the door.

* * *

"Agent Hottie, about time…" Lucy smirked behind her sunshade while looking at the rear-view mirror.

"What do you mean, 'About time'?! We're running late!" Natsu shouted.

I kept my eyes on the car's window without saying a word.

"Relax, I already told Grandpabie an excuse… Yeesh…" Lucy muttered. "So what are we gonna take for my first mission in F.T.S.A.A, huh?" Blondie kept her eyes on the road.

"Anything simple… Merely, we earn money…" Natsu crossed his arms behind his back.

"What? Anything simple…." Lucy scoffed and repeated Natsu's words. "Now I understand why you guys aren't S-class agents…"

"Hey!" Natsu and I said in unison.

"No offense guys… But you stink at making plans… That's why I~" Lucy paused dramatically with a smirk. I rolled my eyes in annoy… Fucking agent… "The expert one- should teach you guy _how_ to choose the best mission…" Lucy smirked.

Both Natsu and I jawdropped like shit. Like- who does she thinks she is?! We only had her yesterday for a new member- and now she's acting like she's the leader or something?

"We're here~" Lucy sang and stopped in front of the company.

* * *

**(A/N: I don't own the following paragraphs… Saw it on the internet. And I thought- maybe I could follow/copy these things in to share…. Sorry 'bout that.)**

"Number 1. Be Charismatic. James Bond isn't a great secret agent because he was the strongest, sneakiest, or the smartest. What he lacks in traditional action-hero skills, he makes up for in his ability to adapt to himself to the situation and the setting. He oozes charisma. A great secret agent has to be able to charm complete strangers, manipulating them to do what you want." Lucy pointed at the blackboard with a long stick acting all teacher-like…

And so- the boredom begins… Why does she even have to teach us this? We already have our own secret agent's manual! Yeesh! And she's actually comparing us to James Bond! Phew this girl drives me insane!

"If your target is playing high-stakes poker in Morocco, you've got to be able chat your way past the doorman, ante up, and charm your way into the game. How do you do it? Charisma. To practice, work on getting phone numbers from strangers in public. Chat up people you don't know and work your way into their graces. Practice your witty one-offs, pithy comebacks, and all-around good-natured charm." Lucy walked back and forth.

"Number 2. Spend time perfecting your acting skills with different kinds of people. Go places you might not be welcome and try and fit in and learn everything you can from the locals. Can you pretend to be a southern mill worker, struggling to make ends meet? Can you pretend to be a French-Canadian diplomat? What about a singer-songwriter from Belize? A good secret agent says yes. Learn about both high and low culture. If you've got to embed with French dignitaries who are operating illegal smuggling operations, you've got to be able to talk French wine and opera with the best of them. You also might be expected to sneak into a oil derrick and be comfortable next to hard-drinking roughnecks, which means you better know at least one George Jones song off the top of your head." Lucy was saying.

Bo-ring...

"Any questions?" she said finally to half-asleep Natsu and I. No answer. "Good. Now let's go take our mission!" she squealed.

Finally!

* * *

"Tu misión ... Para encontrar estos dos hombres españoles que escaparon de la cárcel el pasado viernes por la noche…" I read out loud according to the paper. "No hay gadgets, ningún disfraz…"

(Meaning: Your mission… To find these two Spanish men who escaped jail last Friday night… No gadgets, no disguise… ~PS: Sorry, my Spanish sucks…~)

"The fuck do we need not to use gadgets?! Gadgets- is life…" Natsu complained with a confused look.

"And at least we could use guns…" Lucy rolled her eyes.

"How much do they give for that?" Natsu spat. And by "give" he meant: "how much money" like- whatever… It's not like I'm not doing this for the money….

"Look, it's never about the money… It's about the mission!" Lucy said enthusiastically.

Yeahh… Right…

* * *

"Ponga tus manos en el aire!" I focused my gun at the two. (Meaning: Put your hands in the air. ~PS: Sorry, my Spanish sucks…~)

Idiots… They better pay _big_ for this… Why did I even let her choose the mission by the way? I actually want a mission including with all the research stuffs… This mission- this is supposed to be the police's job! Am I right?

Hey, what am I saying? I never actually _had_ been so picky choosing these missions… Probably because I'm the one who chooses "lame" missions… But hey, I never see Pinky complain that much too! Geez… That Blondie… She's taking control of- um almost everything!

"Caer de rodillas!" Lucy added and the two drop down their knees. (Meaning: Drop to your knees)

So know- the two Spanish guys dropped to their knees with hands in the air.

"Diego Martin Ramirez y Daniel Thomas esta bajo arresto!" Natsu chimed in. (Meaning: Diego Martin Ramirez y Daniel Thomas your under arrest)

Okay, handcuffs on… Can't wait to get outta here…

I led the two big suckers along the car door… Look out; Dragon Hottie Celestial Team is on the way! Kinda a long group name I should say…

* * *

"So, victory celebration this night? At the pub? I really need some new chicks tonight…" Natsu asked rubbing the back of his head nonchalantly.

"Hell, yeah!" I cheered in agreement. Not because of the chicks he says- I needed a booze! Seriously, I've enough of today's mission. And I already felt like a goddamn

This is the best thing Natsu is good at. Pub… And fucking girls all night long.

"I think you guys go ahead… I'm good…" Lucy said nervously.

"No, no, no, no… You're coming with us… Come on, it's our first anniversary for your first mission, right?" Natsu smirked and put a hand in her shoulder.

Hehehe, the Agent Bossy Blondie's weakness is pub. Gotta take note of that…

Her cheeks turned all beet-red all of the sudden. Aww, so cute…. *slaps self* what the fuck am I saying?! She ain't cute! She's an agent! And I definitely hate agents!

"Okay, you're in!" Natsu brought me back to the real world.

"Wha- I d-didn't say anything…" Lucy stammered.

"Shush. It'll be good I promise…" Natsu smirked like an idiot.

Maybe I could use a few chicks for the night… Fuck that stupid Natsu…

* * *

**Lucy's P.O.V**

"Hey, baby. How's school?"

"It's great mommy…" Lamia muttered.

"Hey, what's wrong?" I asked- full of concern. As a mother—I seriously hate it when my baby's sad…

"Nothing…" Lamia lightened up a bit with a forced smile.

There was silence. The car's air-conditioner blowing sounds are the only thing to be heard…

"Hey, come on baby tell me… You could always tell mommy…" I smiled at the rear-view mirror.

"It's just that- it's Father's Day the following month and daddy isn't here… He won't see me perform onstage…" Lamia sighed.

"Aww, sweetheart—you don't need your daddy to perform onstage… You have me…" I smiled.

"But mommy… It's Father's Day…" Lamia pouted.

"Okay, honey… I'll think about it…" I forced a smile.

"Yay! Thank you, mommy!" Lamia went back to her own enthusiasm.

I sighed. "You have any homework, baby?" I tried to change the subject.

"Yup. Bunch…" Lamia smiled.

"Well, you better do it once we arrive home… I'm gonna go somewhere with the Uncles…" I said with a shrug.

"Aww, can I come too?" Lamia whined- begging with puppy-dog eyes. Surely, no one could resist those puppy-dog eyes of hers…

"Absolutely, not baby… You have school tomorrow…" I tried to avoid her look.

"Please? Pretty, pretty please?" Lamia begged- now doing the puppy-dog ears.

"No, honey… The place is only for adults…" I muttered as I feel my cheeks heating up.

"Okay…" Lamia said. If Lamia hears the word "no" it means "no"…

* * *

"If you ever need anything, call mommy okay? And there's a frozen pizza in the fridge if you ever get hungry. Do your homework and make sure to sleep before ten. I'll be late…" I call over to Lamia as I change to my black fit flare dress with a matching black shoulder cover-up. I seriously do not wanna show much skin… Especially in the pub.

My plan is simple. First- I let the two get drunk. Just stay low and don't take any booze from any own. Beat the pulp out of anyone (who's drunk) come near me. Go home and give myself a victory cake for being a good mom- that I didn't made out or drink booze with anybody…

I love my plan…

Pfft… I seriously hate it when anyone invites me over to the pub… I still remember what happened when I was drunk…. You do not wanna know….

"Yes, mommy…" Lamia said in the living room.

I let my hair down from my current messy bun and curl my hair with a curl machine. Just a little curl… Done. I slipped on my black high heels and black long strap shoulder bag and head out my door. Yes, no make ups. Make ups are just way too exaggerating…

"So, what do you think, sweetie?" I asked Lamia while stepping out of my room.

"Wow—you look pretty mommy!" Lamia's eyes sparkled in delight.

"Thanks honey. Be good girl, kay?" Just then the doorbell rang.

The two idiots just can't wait…. Assholes… I never wanna go to the pub anyways! They could just go without me! But- nooo! Getting people to do something for me these days is like pulling teeth!

_Ding-dong... Ding-dong…_

"Wait! I'm coming, I'm coming… Geez…" I muttered.

"Bye, baby. Sleep before ten, okay?" I pressed my lips against my little girls' forehead and marched to the door.

"Bye, mommy! See you later! Enjoy the party!" Lamia shouted behind me.

_Ding-dong… Ding-dong…_

Yeesh!

I opened the door grumpily revealing the two idiots standing in my doorway.

"Couldn't you two just wait?!" I almost yelled. Almost.

"Wow… Grrr…" Natsu purred all cat-like looking at me as though I'm his lunch.

"Whatevs… I ain't like your chicks…" I glared at him while locking my door.

"Hey, Come on... Just one night… I'm sure you'd be perfect in bed."

"Let's go already!" Sting said impatiently.

"Yeah, sheesh…" Natsu said.

I won't believe what is gonna happen to me… Let's just hope my plan goes the way it's planned…

* * *

**A/N: Hello, Bello guys! Long time no see! I'm really sorry for the late update because of school and stuffs… Well, hope you guys like the new Chapter! Thank you for all the reviews, favs and the followers! It means a lot!**


	4. A Proclaimation Notice

_**Secret Agent Hottiepants **_

**~Chapter 4~**

**-Narrator- **

**(This is A Public Announcement from "Secret Agent Hottiepants")**

Perhaps, this is going a little bit complicated. - v -

Conceivably, it may not hurt to show our beloved Secret Agents' identities… And probably, most of their histories, stories, etc… So this will be like some kind of "TV Show Proclamation Notice" kind of thingy… Get what I mean? Like, "Secret Agent's Profile" sort of thing… This is meant to be private so shush… Don't tell anybody… Not even your pet, your pet's friend, or your pet's friend's friend or your closest friend. Not even your closest friend's friend or your friend's, friend's friend. And so now, we're revealing their identities! *drum rolls* P.S. Please forgive me for not updating like, *tapping chin, thinking and looking up* Okay, maybe I haven't updated for like almost forever... Okay, now starting from Agent Number 1—

**-Secret Agent Hottiepants-**

**Name: Sting Eucliffe (Secret Agent Hottiepants)**

**Age: 31 years old**

**Association: Secret agent/ Secret spy**

**Society: Fairy Tail Secret Agent's Association (F.T.S.A.A)**

**Current Society: Sabertooth Agents Society (S.A.S)**

**Group Name in Society: Dragon Hottie Celestial Team**

**Classification of Gender: Male**

**Secret That ****Mostly**** No One Knows: - **(A/N: Okay, no one really knows so… No one knows, get it?)

**His-Story: Sting had been well-known in S.A.S and was an S-class agent before he was kicked out of the guild for high treason. No one knows and was secretly kept by the S.A.S agents. Sting had a tough history from losing his family in a car crash. It was absolutely a tragic memory Secret Agent Hottie to forget. But he did. Sting had suffered amnesia and coma after the accident. He was then transferred to F.T.S.A.A immediately after he had recovered. But none at all could Sting remember… Nor the face or name of his child and wife. It had been utterly tragic for Sting… His new passion now is taking top secret missions with his partner, Natsu. Sting is a cocky, jerky agent. He's mostly seen taking missions or talking to other agents. **

Okay, so for Natsu… Kindly clap your hands please, for Secret Agent Number 2—

**-Secret Agent Fire Dragon-**

**Name: Natsu Dragneel **

**Age: 19 years old**

**Association: Secret Agent/ Secret Spy/ Highschool Student **(A/N: Yep. I decided to change Natsu as some kind of a Highschool Student to make things more complicated and more complicated… Seriously, I so love COMPLICATED! So, there are bits of changes as you guys could see here… Hehehehe… _ Evil Little Me…)

**Society: Fairy Tail Secret Agent's Association (F.T.S.A.A)**

**Current Society: None. He had been in F.T.S.A.A since like— forever… **

**Group Name in Society: Dragon Hottie Celestial Team**

**Classification of Gender: Male**

**Secret That ****Mostly**** No One Knows: In Magnolia East High, ****no one**** knows Natsu is a Top Secret Agent and- well…**

**His-Story: Natsu is a nineteen-years-old agent and was known to be the youngest agent in F.T.S.A.A respectively. Natsu is a Highschool Student and he's studying in Magnolia East High. Natsu had always missed classes every time there is an alert. So it's kind of difficult for our young secret agent to get through these missions during most of the times… Natsu had been in F.T.S.A.A since young. No one knows what had happen to his parents. Not even relatives, friends or family. But everyone had considered and appreciated Natsu as a family. Usually, you could see Natsu in pubs, clubs, in the agent's guild playing in the casino or whatsoever. Natsu could be competitive and a playboy most of the times but his very serious. So, consider Natsu as an effin' teenager… A Secret Agent Teenager. Natsu is a kind of a wealthy man who spends his time enjoying himself, especially one who behaves irresponsibly or is sexually promiscuous. Uh, his just a teen… Natsu is a braniac and always open to new things. Hi-tech, electronic you name it… **

Okay, so let's give it up for our last but not least, Secret Agent Number Three—

**-Secret Agent Celestial-**

**Name: Lucy Heartfilia (Secret Agent Celestial)**

**Age: 26 years old**

**Association: Secret Agent/ Secret Spy**

**Society: Fairy Tail Secret Agent's Association (F.T.S.A.A)**

**Current Society: Mermaid Heels Secret Agents (M.H.S.A)**

**Group Name in Society: Dragon Hottie Celestial Team**

**Classification of Gender: Female**

**Her-story: Lucy is a single mother who has a daughter. Her husband has left her and her daughter for another woman. Lucy had worked for M.H.S.A for over many years but retired after she gave birth to her daughter, Lamia Juliette Anne Heartfilia. Agent Heartfilia is a retired-agent but decided to come back again to earn money. But she decided not to apply back on M.H.S.A but on F.T.S.A.A that had offered to assist in all needs… Of course, Agent Heartfilia agreed for her Grandfather, Agent Makarov Dreyar had begged her for life. Of course she could never say "no" to her beloved Grandfather. Lucy is a kind-hearted spirit, always offering to lend a hand. But when she's serious—she's seriously not the one to be mess with… She's a karate back belter; a muay thai fighter and a taekwondo expert just like any S-class agents would be… **

**~End of TV Show Proclamation Notice~**


	5. This Is How My Night Began

_**Secret Agent Hottiepants **_

**~Chapter 5~**

**Sting's P.O.V**

And this how my night began.

The loud club music booming inside. Agents from different societies dancing in some slutty outfits. (Ugh) Probably looking for some bait. Tsch, immatures…

I sipped my delicious Jack Daniels as I continuously scan the whole pub. Natsu with chicks. Check. Blondie walking towards me. Check.

What?

"Hey, Hotshot." She sat down on the high stool next to mine.

"What do you want Blondie?" I asked in irritation.

"I thought you would never ask… I want to buy you a drink." Ugh. She's using reverse physcology now, huh? Clichés…

"Sure…" I shrugged.

"Two Guinness please." Blondie said to the bartender. She then turned to me. "So what are we doing here, Hottie?" she smirked. I swear that's the sexiest smirk I ever saw.

"Don't you remember?! Bubblegum dragged us here for chicks!" I explained. Seriously, did she get amnesia or something?

"How could I remember when the only thing I could think of is you?" she laughed and ran a hand through her curled hair. And I thought I was good in pick-up lines… She's way beyond… Better? Wait… Is she drunk?

"Your beer." The bartender said before I could even open my mouth and say something. I reached a hand to take my beer she suddenly grabbed my wrist. She sat on my lap with an evil smirk as she wrapped her arm in my waist.

Okay, I'm feeling really uncomfortable right now… "You seemed to be lonely, do you want to come home with me tonight?" she whispered huskily to my ear.

"Hey, look Blondie. I don't do stuffs like any other agents would want to fuck with. So if you want fuck tonight—go find somebody else…"

"Blondie… I like that…" she purred sexily as she ran her pointer through my chest. "You have such a perfect body… Guess what?" she whispered hoarsely. "I want you to fuck me tonight."

"First off, fuck no. Secondly, I fuck hard. Thirdly, I don't fuck agents."

"I don't give a damn. I want you to fuck me." This is so going frustratingly sexual…

"Come on, let's get you home…"

* * *

"Oh, please baby… Please…" Blondie said in some raspy kind of voice.

Luckily, I had finally reached her hotel room number the only problem is—where are the keys? Oh, right. It's in Blondies bag.

"Oi, where's the key, Blondie?" I questioned Blondie.

"Only if you'd kiss me… Then I'd give you my keys…"

"Fuck no. Just give me the keys."

"Or what?" she teased.

"Or I'd kiss you." Hey, that was a lie. To get the get the goddamn keys…

"I'd like the sound of that… Do it." She sniggered smugly.

I was afraid she'd say that. Well, as you know the sayings: Boys drool, Girls rule… *rolls eyes*

"Yes, I'd do that, darling. But would you hand me over the keys, please?" I gave her one of my

fake winks.

"I like the sound of that…" she simply handed me the keys.

I opened her hotel door as I felt a sudden slap on my butt. "Nice ass, Hotshot." She clicked her tongue in disbelief.

"Sshh…" She knew well she had a sleeping daughter upstairs.

I opened the door to her room in relief. "Now you just go inside and I'll-"

"If you're trying to trick me better make sure you're not. Cause I'm going rape you."

"You wouldn't-"

She grabbed me and smashed her lips onto mine. "Dammit Blondie, go to sleep!" I said as I pushed her away.

"Hey, what did I do?" she giggled playfully as she plopped down her bed. I pinched the bridge of my nose in depress in order not to get affected by her sexual doings. She giggled again, childishly. With the entire woman I wanted to fuck—why would it be an agent?!

"I think I'm gonna go-" I turned to the door as I suddenly felt something grabbing the back of my shirt. _Holy crap._

"Don't go!" with a strong tug, I was on the bed, her on top of me and I'm at the bottom. My eyes turned wide as saucers as Blondie looked down at me with a rape-face. "Don't leave. Please…" she whispered.

"I don't want any crap happening, so if you would excuse me…" I tried to push her away.

"No!" she screeched and pounced on me. _Crap. How's she so strong?_

"Kiss me."

"Pardon?"

"Kiss me!" I felt Blondie's lips onto mine once more as my eyes went wide again. "Look Blondie, I don't take advantage of fucked-up drunk agents… And in regards, you won't even remember any of this the moment you wake up tomorrow…" I heaved a sigh as I put my hand in her shoulder.

Suddenly, she passed out on top of me. Mission accomplished.

"Uncle Sting?" Okay, I take that back. I pushed the snoring Blondie as I turned to the blonde kid in pajamas. She was carrying an oversized teddy bear as she stood by the door.

"Why aren't you asleep yet? Did your mom wake you up?" I smirked as I stood up the bed.

"I couldn't. I was waiting for mommy… Mommy's drunk again isn't she, Uncle Sting?" she asked while I closed the door.

"Yes, she's drunk alright. Hey, how'd you know that?"

"Daddy says mommy gets crazy every time she gets drunk. He says they could make babies when she is… I still remember that time when mommy's drunk and daddy arrived home with a surprise! Mommy and I nearly scared him to death when he entered the doorway." Lamia giggled childishly.

"No kidding…" I chuckled with the blonde kid.

"Yeah! Mommy and I have to put on blankets disguised as ghosts and we scared daddy!" she squealed as she plopped down her bed.

"That must be fun, huh?" I said with a smile as I covered her with a blanket.

"Yeah, it was! You should have seen it, Uncle Sting!" she said in enthusiasm.

_Stephan! _My head suddenly felt tipsy. Probably because I drank too much beer.

"Okay, let's get you sleep now…" I smiled warmly at Blondie Kid.

"Can you read me a bedtime story? Mommy forgot to read me a bedtime story tonight…" Blondie Kid pouted.

I rolled my eyes and sigh. "Fine. But it will only take a second."

"Yay!" she squealed as I sat beside next to Blondie Kid. "Once, there was a secret agent. He was on a top secret mission. He works for the bad villain. He must execute an agent from the-"

I stopped as I looked at Blondie Kid who was sleeping soundly before I could start the story.

"Go on, Uncle Sting I'm listening." She mumbled with her eyes closed.

"Nah, I think you should go to sleep. Oh, and can I use your bathroom?" I asked as I patted her feet.

"Sure Uncle Sting… it's right next to the-" she then snored soundly without finishing her sentence.

I chuckled and stood up. I closed the door outside.

My head went back to the memory where Blondie- *shudders*

Good thing I didn't fucked up with her…

* * *

**Lucy's P.O.V -****49 minutes ago-**

I crossed my arms as I watch that pink-haired idiot who invited me to the bar, have fun with all the chicks he wants… Sting, on the other side was quietly drinking booze… Good guy… But not good enough… *evil smile* Fuck, he's too cute all I wanted was to pinch his cheeks! Chikooo Chikoo, Chikkoo... *squished voice*

Nah, he ain't cute! Who we're talking about here Paul Walker's brother?! Come on, get serious man! I don't want to get my ass burn!

On the meantime, I am scanning the entire pub. I know some of them are secret agents… Other agents from other societies… From the looks of it, it seems like they're here for chicks too… Shame on them… Puiii!

Yay… I'm such a good mommy… I totally deserve a victory cake when this whole thing is over… Seriously, going to pubs are usually my worst nightmares… Or enemies… Puh-leeze don't get me started! By the way, plan is going the way it's—

"Hey, pretty-"

Karate Chop!

Heh, I know its rude to just karate chop drunken guys in here… But hey, it's for my own good right? And it's going as perfectly as it is in the plan… So you can't blame me…

Suddenly, a certain brunette started walking unstably towards me. She kinda looks familiar… Beer… The smell of contaminated beer filled my nose… Wait. I froze. Cana?!

"Yo, Luccccy!" she shouted.

Yep, it is Cana. She's my past-agent partner when I was in M.H.S.A. Cana- must be the most awesome partner I've ever had my whole life at M.H.S.A. We also had been the Best Spy of the Year- in that time… So I wanted these two idiots to behave too…

"Heh, still the same daydreaming— I mean night-dreaming, Lucy I knew…" Cana interrupted me from my thoughts.

"Hey, Cana… Long time no see… What brings you here?" I asked with a smile.

"Lucy, Lucy, Lucy, Lucy… You know me… What do I go to the pub for?" She put her hands on her hips like she was lecturing me or something.

Oh, right Cana is a heavy drinker too. Like- when was the last time she wasn't drunk? She is always drunk. Usually, I see Cana hiding vodka in her bra once we were still partners in crime and all... Or maybe sneaking a metal liquor bottle in her expandable belt… This girl just can't live without drinking… I wonder how she don't get overdose.

"So, you have a man, yet? Hope you have finally moved on from that little fucker?" Cana asked helping herself on a big barrel of beer. Yes, this is her current mode everyone… Please kindly clap your hands.

"Nah, drink. Come on! We should be celebrating! From three years without meeting we saw each other again! Don't be a suck-up bitch, now drink up!" she handed me a glass of rum.

"I-I'm not so sure Cana…" I shrugged uncomfortably.

"Don't leave me hanging or I'll shove this in your mouth myself…" Cana threatened with an evil grin.

I heaved a sigh and took the glass from her hand making Cana's lips twitch into a wider grin. I took one gulp and I already feel tipsy. I took another gulp and another and the pub started to blur.

5, 4, 3, 2, 1… Lights on *smirks*

* * *

**Normal P.O.V**

"It's about time… Go hunt him down, Secret Agent Shadow…"

"I won't let you down… Master."

* * *

**A/N: So, guys! How'd you think of my new Chapter? Was it good was it bad? Do you hate me for not updating for almost like, forever? Do I make you mad? Do you hate me? Sorry, I asked too much questions… But how is it? I would love to know… And I won't be updating for a long time again because of school and stuff. So guyz, Please review! Thank you for reviewing, following and faving my story! See you again! And stay tuned for more Secret Agent Hottiepants! **


End file.
